"I can't do that, Dave."

spaustriastuck:

dennys:

EXERCISE
EX-ER-CISE
EX-AR-SIZE
EGGS-ARE-SIDES
FOR BACON
BACON

who the heck is running Denny’s tumblr

rogue-queen:

did you know that if you go into your bathroom turn off the lights and say Spock three times fast he won’t appear in your mirror because that is illogical

bonnibelbubblegum:

just give me lesbian characters in popular media that arent used as queerbaiting or fetishized eyecandy for the male audience or portrayed as desperate to fuck every girl within the tri-state area or have internalized misogyny and a hatred of femininity like give me a girl who likes girls and who is also as a regular human being with morals

bigstupidbaby:

ugh mums are so annoying ‘clean ur room take out the trash im worried about your mental health why is there a dead guy in the living room’ ha ha yeah ok whatever mum

kookyteen:

i want an episode of hannibal where will and hanni get really stoned and will’s like ” oh man lets go get some munchies” and hanni’s like yeah so they drive out to 7-11 and they meet back at the till like 10 minutes later and hannibal has a dead body and will has cheetos and hes like what

whiteknightling:

faytoh:

solving-the-unsolvable:

why is american money so gross. like its all one colour, what the hell.

then you have fucking awesome colourful australian money right here:

i rest my case.

Aaah, the Australian money looks really pretty! Though I’m quite fond of the money here in Canada already.

Nah, America’s got colored money too

It’s funny how America compares everyone else’s money to Monopoly money but theirs still looks closer to Monopoly money than any other currency I’ve seen.

divascreech:

i refuse to respect other people’s views if they oppress me and so should you

do not let people tell you that you should respect oppressive or intolerant views and do not let them make you feel guilty when you don’t

fuck them

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

thearchangeltrickster:

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

davidsreality:

laughing-llama:

Plot twist: the-absolute-funniest-posts stops self-promoting

Thats not a plot twist thats a miracle.

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

I can’t tell if this is them being sarcastic assholes or not

usbdongle:

xeverdeen:

im from the united states of AMERICA what do you MEAN THIS VIDEO IS NOT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY 

#there’s another country? #how long has it been there